Judge: ….we therefore sentence you to 30 days imprisonment for the crime of…
Robber: This is an outrage! I’m completely innocent!
Judge: My good man, you’ve just been found guilty by the court.
Robber: It’s a matter of interpretation, your Honour. I was simply being helpful by testing the security of the house in question.
Judge: You took half a million pounds worth of jewellery!
Robber: But I also fed the cat while I was there, which makes everything alright.
Judge: The verdict stands.
Robber: I don’t think so. If you won’t play ball, my Powerful Mate will have a special committee review your position and the structure of the courts.
Judge: So he’d sacrifice the rule of law just to overturn a 30-day sentence?
Robber: You’d better believe it – he’s not exactly squeaky clean himself, if you know what I mean. It’s a cracker of a plan. What could possibly go wrong?
‘Ex-PM John Major: Government handling of Paterson case shameful’: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-59188972
‘Boris Johnson sleaze crisis deepens amid pressure on Covid deals’: https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2021/nov/06/johnson-sleaze-crisis-deepens-amid-pressure-on-covid-deals
‘Boris suffers brutal poll blow with his ratings plunging to worst EVER in wake of sleaze shambles’: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10174163/Boris-suffers-sleaze-row-poll-blow-ratings-plunging-worst-EVER.html