Dom’s telling you to take no notice coz it’s not a f*cking beauty contest, but he doesn’t have CCHQ shouting down the line at him every bloody day.

You can’t actually work out where you went wrong. The COVID thing? God, it’s so tempting to do a Bolsonaro and pull the stats completely. But then the shit would really hit the fan; there was enough fuss when you dropped the international comparisons back in May. And as for Keir f*cking Starmer, sitting there like a smug rock at PMQs and taking the knee as if he’s one of them. Statues toppling everywhere — they’ll be going after Maggie next!

Dom’s telling you to chill; he’s got a plan; WTO’s the way to go, coz the economy’s wrecked anyway and no one will know the difference.

Well, he’d better be right. Or you, guvnor, are well and truly f*cked.