Every Little Helps

Tesco press release, July 2020

We are pleased to announce that we will be axing cleaners at 1,920 of our Express and Metro stores. Their duties, which include cleaning toilets, will be passed over to shop floor staff from 24 August.

This may seem somewhat surprising, given that Covid-19 has made hygiene a top priority, but it reflects our core values one hundred per cent.

No one tries harder for customers — you’ll no doubt be delighted that Liam the cashier was scrubbing the staffroom loos just prior to handling all your shopping at the till.

We treat people how they want to be treated — by sacking cleaners who worked throughout lockdown at great personal risk to keep our stores virus-free. The UK may now have entered the deepest recession since records began, but we’re sure they’ll find another job soon. 

Every little helps — to boost our chairman’s bonus. Dave Lewis pocketed a cool £4.8 million this year, and has definitely never cleaned a toilet in his life.

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