29 June 2020. About tea time. Jeffries rushes into the Prime Minister’s office.
Jeffries: I’m glad I caught you before tennis, sir. I’ve got Michel Barnier on the line — he says he’s still happy to extend the Brexit talks. Deadline’s tomorrow.
PM: Tell him to f*ck off.
Jeffries: Sir… Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland are all calling for an extension. They’re really struggling with the fallout from Covid.
PM: Tell them to f*ck off.
Jeffries: Sir, the pandemic means our GDP’s likely to drop by 11.5% this year. Are you sure a January exit is wise? Perhaps extending might be a g—
PM: Nope. Non. Nyet.
Jeffries: But sir, how will businesses survive the double whammy of Covid and Brexit? It’s like chucking dynamite into a burning house!
PM: Just tell them all to…
Jeffries (wearily): …f*ck off, sir?
PM: Exactly. Now fetch me my racket, there’s a good chap.