Banana Republic¹ 1974²  ~

Ernesto Suarez³ raises his hands in theatrical surprise.

“Luis,⁴ what a coincidence! Good to see you!”

The two men sit down next to one another at the banquet table.⁵ At some point during the lavish meal, Luis shows the minister architectural sketches⁶ for a new, billion peso property development. By dessert, there’s a quiet understanding between the politician and the pornographer-turned-tycoon.

After some discreet phone calls,⁷ Suarez fast-tracks planning permission for the development, thereby saving Luis a local government levy of 30 million pesos.⁸ Two weeks later, Luis drops off a thick bundle of banknotes⁹ at the minister’s party offices.

When the bribe is exposed, El Presidente¹⁰ defends Suarez and says he “considers the matter closed”.¹¹

No one is surprised.¹²

1 UK
2 2020
3 Robert Jenrick
4 Richard Desmond
5 Tory fundraiser
6 Promo video on mobile
7 Private text messages
8 £40 million
9 £12,000 'donation'
10 Boris Johnson
11 25 June 2020
12 No one is surprised