Threats, Hazards, Resilience and Contingency Committee Meeting, July 2019

PM: Morning, everyone. Look, I do hope nobody minds, but I’ve decided to abolish this committee with immediate effect. It’s rather superfluous and we need all hands on deck for Our Glorious Brexit.

THRCC: But Prime Minister, what about our pandemic contingency planning?

PM: Brexit!

THRCC: But sir… A pandemic is one of the most significant civil emergency risks facing the UK. We need thorough and coordinated preparation across all departments and the NHS. Global health experts have been warning for years that there’s a big one on the way.

PM: Brexit!

THRCC: But… a pandemic could cause hundreds of thousands of deaths and cost tens of billions of pounds!

PM: BREXIT.

THRCC: *speechless*

PM: Come on, guys. Cheer up! I mean — seriously — what are the odds?

H/T Monty Python’s ‘Top of the Form’ sketch