Phone call, Tuesday 2 June. The Rt Hon. Jacob Rees-Mogg from his London townhouse [390 yards from Westminster] to his wife at their Somerset pile.

Evening, darling. How are you all?

Splendid — Nanny’s keeping us beautifully busy. So, how did it go?

Not bad. One unfortunate pile-up at the bottom of the Portcullis escalator, but that’ll teach them to use some common sense in future.

Moggy, I don’t mean to criticise, but was it a good idea — given we’re in the middle of a pandemic — to have MPs flock from all over the country to queue en masse for 90 minutes at a time when they could just have voted from home?

We’d be doing democracy an injustice otherwise, darling.

I’m not sure 200 shielding MPs and their constituents would agree with you.

This isn’t the time for jokes, darling.

I’m not joking. And for the next 14 days, Jacob, you needn’t bother coming home.