I’ll believe until the day I die that I was right to attend No. 10 leaving dos

I’ll believe until the day I die that I was right to attend No. 10 leaving dos that repeatedly broke Covid rules

I’ll believe until the day I die that I was right to attend No. 10 leaving dos that repeatedly broke the Covid rules that I as Prime Minister set

I’ll believe until the day I die that I was right to attend No. 10 leaving dos, as departing staff clearly couldn’t be thanked by letter or email or phone

I’ll believe until the day I die that No. 10 leaving dos with 20+ people were “absolutely essential”, even though only 7 people were allowed at your gran’s funeral

I’ll believe until the day I die that I can do no wrong

I’ll believe until the day I die that I can do no wrong, but when I do it’s someone else’s fault 

I’ll believe until the day I die that I can stand before the House of Commons and lie “in good faith”

I’ll believe until the day I die that this is a kangaroo court, unless you find in my favour

I’ll believe until the day I die that I’m above the law