I’ll believe until the day I die that I was right to attend No. 10 leaving dos

I’ll believe until the day I die that I was right to attend No. 10 leaving dos that repeatedly broke Covid rules

I’ll believe until the day I die that I was right to attend No. 10 leaving dos that repeatedly broke the Covid rules that I as Prime Minister set

I’ll believe until the day I die that I was right to attend No. 10 leaving dos, as departing staff clearly couldn’t be thanked by letter or email or phone

I’ll believe until the day I die that No. 10 leaving dos with 20+ people were “absolutely essential”, even though only 7 people were allowed at your own gran’s funeral

I’ll believe until the day I die that I can do no wrong

I’ll believe until the day I die that I can do no wrong, but when I do it’s someone else’s fault 

I’ll believe until the day I die that I can stand before the House of Commons and lie “in good faith”

I’ll believe until the day I die that this is a kangaroo court, unless you find in my favour

I’ll believe until the day I die that I’m above the law

Update: Boris Johnson resigned as an MP on 9 June 2023 after learning that the Privileges Committee had found him guilty of repeatedly misleading [lying to] Parliament about parties that had been held at Number 10 during Covid. In a wearily predictable fashion, he accused the Committee of being a ‘kangaroo court’, and took no responsibility whatsoever for his own behaviour and actions.