Forget it, Nick, you won’t change my mind – I’ll never regret voting Leave. Our freedom from EU tyranny is priceless!

Nuff said, Gary. You free tonight? Fancy a game of darts down the Badger’s Arse?

Well, I’ve got a few things to sort out, like getting petrol cos FOR SOME REASON our usual petrol station’s run out, so I need to drive over to Lichfield to tank up… And then Trish wants to go to Morrison’s in Birmingham cos FOR SOME REASON the Weetabix, fish cakes, pizza, toothpaste and baby wipes didn’t come with the online shop. And get this, she wants to see if she can get a turkey now – in September! – cos FOR SOME REASON she thinks there’ll be a shortage at Christmas. Women, eh?

Soooooo, I take it you’re not free?

No.

And you don’t think any of this is down to Brex—

NO.