Well, Bob, I’m pretty pleased with how it’s going so far. A 68% drop in goods going to the EU in the space of a year! What fantastic progress.

Come again, Fred?

Well, Gove was spot on, wasn’t he? We’ve had enough of exports. About as much use as a chocolate teapot.

Fred, you know that problem you’ve got with your hearing?

Pardon?

YOU KNOW THAT PROBLEM YOU’VE GOT WITH YOUR HEARING?

No need to shout, Bob.

Jesus wept! Fred, read my lips. Gove didn’t say Britain’s “had enough of EXPORTS”. He said Britain’s “had enough of EXPERTS”.

*Fred gives airy wave of the hand*

Exports, experts, same difference. Come on, Bob — don’t get all steamed up. Let’s be sensible, as Raab suggests, and take a 10-year view.

Fred, you are such an f*cking idiot.