To the tune of Talking Heads, ‘Once in a Lifetime’

And you may find yourself
Running a confectionery wholesaler
And you may find yourself
Selling nuts, chocolates and sweets
And you may find yourself
In receipt of a large PPE contract
And you may find yourself
In a beautiful house
With a beautiful £108 million
And you may ask yourself
Well, how did I get here?

Letting the days go by, got mates in high places
Letting the days go by, no competitive tendering process
Who cares if the public asks, where has the money gone?
Once in a lifetime, our Covid Bonanza

Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was?
Worse than it ever was
Much worse than it ever was

And we may ask ourselves
How does a confectioner land a PPE contract?
And we may ask ourselves
Where *does* that audit trail go?
And we may ask ourselves Is it right? Is it wrong?
And we may tell ourselves (if we voted Tory)
My God! What have I done?

Update: On Friday 19 February 2021, Health Secretary Matt Hancock was found to have acted unlawfully by failing to publish multibillion-pound Covid-19 government contracts within the 30-day period required by law, thereby evading scrutiny and accountability. The legal challenge was brought by The Good Law Project. Donate if you can!