Hello! I’m the Russia Report. You might remember me from newspaper articles such as ‘Where’s the Russia Report?’, ‘UK Parliament Presses Johnson to Release the Russia Report’, and ‘The Government’s Refusal to Release the Russian Interference Report is Part of a Worrying Pattern of Obstruction’.
Hazy on the details? Understandable. A fair bit’s happened since the ‘Intelligence and Security Committee’ asked the PM to sign me off eight months ago. Which was the exact moment I got kicked into the long grass.
The Big Question is what evidence I contain of Russian interference in UK politics (not least that Referendum). Might be a little, might be a lot, but as things stand, you’re not gonna know.
I’m partial to the truth, myself. As one of my favourite Russian proverbs says: ‘better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie’. Well it is, isn’t it?
H/T The Simpsons